Falling Apart like a Readymade
by MaybeJasperDoesTheAstro
Summary: What happens when Jenna Carrie meets her high school best friend, Beck Hansen, once again for the first time in years? Has the fame washed over him, turning him into a total jerk, or has he stayed the same?
1. Chapter 1

Tonight would be the night I would see him again. After about fifteen or so years, it would be so hard to look at him. He made it to the top just like he wanted to, I always believed in him. But he left me behind, and tonight I hope I can catch up.

I walked through the stadium doors, I was about to see Beck Hansen, my old best friend in concert. We were best friends since grade school. I shuffled through the crowd of already-drunk people, their breath stinking of beer. One of the reasons I hated going to shows.

This is a really nice place.. I thought to myself as I looked up at the ceiling, which was the height of two stories. It was also a church, but they played concerts there. I thought that was odd. Taking my seat, which unfortunately wasn't in the front, I tried to relax. Well, that didn't exactly work. My heart was pumping a million times a minute. Why am I so nervous? You're just seeing him, you're just seeing him. I really hope I get to talk to him, too. But that's doubtful. I don't even think he'll remember me..

The opening band began to play, but I didn't pay attention. They really only had one good song, anyway. I chuckled quietly at some ladies who began dancing.. I love it when people do that. The lights sprang on once again, many a dozen crew members now setting up for the main event, Beck.

I patiently waited and stood up when people had to pass through to get out of their seats. Gosh, how long was this intermission? It shouldn't be this long. I can't stand this. It's been thirty minutes already! Now with almost everyone back in their seats, it better start soon. The lights dimmed after ten minutes. Stupid forty minute intermission.

There.. there he is. I could barely breath, my chest was heaving. He looks the same, well, with much longer hair. I just want to run up and hug him, but I knew I couldn't. Instead, tears, a mixture of joy and depression, came streaming down my face. I'm glad I didn't wear eyeliner tonight.

I sang along to every song. I knew every word by heart. I could tell some people were getting annoyed by my terrible breaking voice, but I wouldn't shut up for them. I sang for my friend. Until the song, "Think I'm in Love" came on. I knew the words, but as soon as I got to the chorus, my mouth couldn't form words. The words were so simple, I think I'm in Love but it makes me kind of nervous to say so! but I just couldn't say it. I think, just maybe, those few words described why I was here tonight.

No, this couldn't be it. Two hours? It's over. Mission failed. He left stage, and I didn't talk to him. Suddenly, I realized how stupid I am. I have as much of a chance of talking to him as anyone else does, pretty much, no chance at all.

Crowds of people began to exit the building, but I stayed put. I just wanted to savour the moment one last minute. This was probably the last time I'd see him in person, anyway, even if it was from afar. With a good portion of people gone, I decided to leave. It seemed a lot more frigid outside than normal, but I guess it was just because I felt cold, anyway.

As I walked back to my car, I noticed a mass group of people crowded behind a metal fence. I didn't exactly have to go home right away, did I? So it wouldn't hurt to check out what everyone was looking at. I anxiously ambled over, standing on my toes trying to see what was going on. A heavy security guard was shouting at fans to stay behind the fence, what was happening?

I overheard someone say Beck was inside the bus everyone was looking at, and that he might come out. So, I might see him again. Just maybe. Doubtful. I'm always negitive about everything.

After a while, he never came out, so I started to leave, until I noticed the chatter rising. No, it wasn't Beck, but it was his bassist. I guess I could get his autograph. I fought my way through the crowd to the front, a pen and paper in my hand. After numerous attemps to get his attention, I finally did. He smiled and signed the tiny slip of paper I had in my hand. I guess it would have to be good enough.

I heard a couple of girls ask him if he could pass on a message to Beck for them. That was it, the closest I could get. I quickly withdrew another torn fragment of paper from my green Beck bag and scribbled out a message on it. Just before the bassist stepped onto the first step on the bus, I shouted, "Wait!"

He turned quickly, and I beckoned him over. This guy was pretty nice, coming over to me. "Could you please, please, please give Beck this?" I asked, holding out the paper. He grinned weakly and took it from me. "Sure." he answered. Yes!

Dear Becka Hans;

You'd be cuter if you lived in the blue house!

- JayCee Penney

That's exactly what I wrote. My nickname for him was Becka. He got made fun of a lot for his name, but I wasn't exactly bullying him. It was a joke. As for the blue house, that's something between Beck and I. I used to like this kid who lived in a blue house around the corner from him. He used to sort of have a crush on me, but I always declinded, jokingly saying 'You'd be cuter if you lived in the blue house.' I'm not sure if he found it as funny as I did, but it's alright. His nickname for me was JayCee Penney, because my initials are JC. Jenna Carrie.

The bassist finally got on the bus. Suddenly I realized, he's probably just going to throw it out. Like Beck would actually care what a fan said. Not saying he's mean, trust me, he's.. well used to be my best friend. But when you're famous, you can't keep up with everyone someone says.

It's getting late, I should probably get going now. It's already, what? One in the morning now. Times flies. But now the bassist and some blonde girl are peeking through the window on the bus that has a curtain over it for obvious reasons. I feel as though they're looking at me, but they can't be. Not me.. right? They're gone again. I guess not. My mind was playing tricks on me for the millionth time. I hate it sometimes.

The blonde girl is coming out now, glancing around. Her eyes lock with mine. I blink for a quick second, and in an instance she's walking over to me. I rapidly glance behind me to see if anyone else behind me, but everyone is just socializing. My heart races and my palms start to sweat. I usually wish I could be invisible, but right now, I'm a little glad to be here.

She stares at me hard, thinking. "Are you Jenna Carrie?" she asks, her voice stern. I gulp. "Er.. yeah." I choke back to her. "Would you mind coming with me?" it's really more of a statement than a question. "Not at all."


	2. Chapter 2

I followed the blonde lady who I had learned name was Savannah onto the bus. I could hear disapointed sighs from a few members of the crowd. I know how they feel, if someone else came on, I'd probably do the same.

I was about to see him again. I feel like a totally crazed fan, being so giddy. Right now it's really hard to believe I used to be best friends with the famous folk singer before me. I really do regret not hooking up with him when we were young. And that's totally not because of the fame. It's so I wouldn't lose him for so long. But I guess it's better this way, just in case we had a bad break up.

Even though it looked pretty average sized from the outside, the inside of the bus was enourmous. I looked around, hoping I wasn't shaking as much as I felt. I was about to ask, but Savannah beat me to it. "He's in the dining room, straight away." Her voice was softer now. She sort of had a nice Southern accent. I was about to compliment her on it, but I stopped myself. Like she'd care.

I nervously shuffled toward the dining room. This is it Jenna, the moment of your life. It kind of smells like pizza; there probably having pizza. Slowly placing my hand upon the door, I pushed it open. There he was, Beck Hansen. Becka Hans.

I felt slightly awkward as everyone stared at me when I entered. I always hated eyes on me. Beck, about to take a bite, dropped his slice of pizza. "Jenna.." he whispered. Tears filled my eyes. The room was completely silent, and I was pretty sure everyone was confused except Beck and I. He swiftly got up and I met him half way. Inches from each other, I pulled him into a tight hug. I hoped it wasn't too soon, but I guess it wasn't for he hugged back. I pulled away, looking him up and down. He looked slightly different than he did on stage. He looked a little more like the old Beck.

"I got your note, and I just knew it was you." he explained, grinning widely. "I hoped you would," I said, wiping a quick tear from my eye. He wasn't crying, and hopefully he didn't care that I was. "I missed you much."

Beck, glancing around, laughed. "Er, everyone, this is my old friend Jenna Carrie." he introduced me. Everyones perplexed faces turned gleeful. Well, I guess I'm accepted into this group now. Hopefully I would be for a while.

We stared at each other for a quick moment before Beck quietly suggested, "Wanna ditch this place?" I smiled, actually, I did. "Won't you get in trouble..?" I asked, I didn't want that. "It's all good. Just let me change. I don't think we want people following us." And with that, he stepped into the bedroom of the bus. Gosh, this thing was so big. After about three minutes, he came out in a regular jeans and a tee-shirt. I felt a little weird wearing a Beck shirt, but I had nothing else, so I'd have to go like this.

"How're we gonna get out?" I asked, glancing out the door window. "Bathroom window, duh." he beamed.

The two of us mysteriously slipped into the bathroom, which, surprisingly, wasn't all that big. "Do you want me to go first, just in case you need help getting down?" Beck asked, peeking out the window. It wasn't exactly a great way down, but enough that I could probably land the wrong way and hurt myself. "Uhmm, sure, thanks." I answered, watching him stand on top of the toilet and open the window.

It was much colder out than I remembered, the breeze circulating throughout the tiny bathroom. Beck placed either foot out the window, striving to get the other one out as well. Then he was gone, and moments later I heard a loud tapping sound. I glanced out the window, just to see if he made it out okay. Luckily, he did. "Your turn." he hoarsely whispered.

I pushed myself up onto the toilet, my legs shaking a bit. Although I was wearing jeans, it was still quite cool. I lifted one leg out the window, than the next. Beck was looking at the crowd to see if anyone could see us, I don't think anyone could, though. "A little help here?" I mumbled, not wanting to attract any attention. "Oh, sorry." he turned around and placed his hands out to hold my foot. I reluctantly lowered my foot onto his hand, and he actually caught me. I didn't think he would.

With the pair of us finally on the ground, we briefly checked around us for people, but no one was there. The crowd was still in their same spot, on the other side of the bus. I am so glad it's night, no one would notice us. We began to galavant down the street, silently enjoying the moonlight. "So what has been up with you lately? Gosh, I haven't seen you in years.." Beck interjected. That was a good question. What had I been doing over the last couple of years? Nothing really. Actually, I was looking for him the whole time. But I didn't want to answer that way. "Nothing really. I actually opened a bakery in Manhattan a few years ago." I told. I'm not really that much of an interesting person..

"Oh really? A bakery? Just like you wanted to huh?" he thought aloud. I pretty much always wanted to be a baker, as he wanted to be a musician. I guess it worked out for the both of us, well sort of. I wasn't really all that happy with baking. Something was missing. But I think that something is right in front of me. "So, what have you been doing? Besides, you know, becoming famous and all." I asked, although immediately regretting it. What a stupid question.

"Nothing really. I'm.. uh.. engaged." he mumbled. I was about to ask him what he said until it hit me. Engaged? What? No, he can't be. This... totally just shattered my fantasy world.


	3. Chapter 3

The words hit me like a ton of bricks. I cannot believe he's engaged. An awkward silence filled inbetween us for a few moments while I blinked back tears. "Oh.." I simply replied. Beck cleared his throat. "Are you married?" he asked. "Divorced, actually." I sounded pretty pathetic. But I was sort of glad to be divorced. It gave me a tiny chance with him. But what was I thinking? The man was engaged. I couldn't just walk back into his life demanding to be the main attraction.

The rest of the conversation sort of went awkwardly from then on there, just asking the usual questions you'd ask someone when you hadn't seen them in a while. "So.. what's your fiances name?" I asked, hoping to get more dirt on this woman. Although I hadn't even met her, I hated her already. Well, she was marrying the guy I kinda-sorta had feelings for. "Luna Arkins." he replied, uncomfortably. I could tell he didn't really want to talk about her. That was sort of good, I guess.

A sudden beeping noise came from Beck's pocket. Oh, crap. It was probably someone from security. He checked the name, and sure enough he looked at me, frowning. "We've been caught." he said, chuckling slightly. I didn't find it all that funny. Now he had to go back, and this was pretty much the end of talking to him. He picked up the phone, and I could hear the aggitated voice of someone on the other line. "They'll pick us up in a second." he mumbled.

We waited around for a second in silence, while I paced in circles. Gracelessly, I tripped on my own shoelace. Great freakin' job, jackass Jenna. Congrats on looking like an idiot. I mean, I obviously couldn't see myself, but I could take a guess I looked horrible. I landed flat on the sidewalk, and checked for blood on my face. Thank god, there was none. My hands broke my fall. That's just great. Now he'd remember me as the gawky girl who tripped on her own shoe.

I laid there for a second, before I decided to get up. I placed my hands on the ground, which were slightly scratched, and lifted myself up. Beck ran over to me, helping me up. "You alright?" he asked. I hated that question. Obviously I wasn't. But hey, there was no need to be rude. "Yeah, I'm good." I replied, standing up. We were actually almost the same height, sorta funny. Just then, I small car pulled up with tainted glass windows. It must be his ride.. well mine, too. I'm glad they didn't arrive before. That would've been mortifying, well, more than it already was.

We both reluctantly got into the car, and the driver shut the door behind us. I couldn't help but smile and secretly release a small laugh to him, which grew louder as he laughed along with me.

I spotted the driver glance back in the mirror and roll his eyes, but I didn't care. I at least wanted one more fun moment of tonight - afterall, I doubt I'd be seeing him again.

And with that thought, my smile sank as I stared forward blankly. It probably was the last time, wasn't it? I mean, yes, we were friends.. but as Beck mentioned, he had a fiance now; I couldn't just walk back in like that. It doesn't work like that when you're another girl.

He glanced over at me, "You okay..?" he whispered hestitantly. I turned my head his way, but didn't look him directly in the eye. I studied his shirt as I replied, "yeah, of course."

By the time we arrived back to the theatre, the crowd of people had subsided. As he helped me out of the car, he took my hand. My face grew hot, but quickly went back to normal as he let go; although I wish he hadn't have.

His driver and a bodyguard came over, signalling it was about time to leave now. Beck waved them off to have a minute alone and looked back at me.

"It was really great seeing you, JC." I watched his breath circle up toward the sky and disappear.

"You too, Becka.." I trailed off. I cast a glance down at my worn shoes, and bit my lip hard, trying to hold in whatever emotion was coming.

He surprised me by wrapping his arms around me and holding me a second longer than normal. I looked up to meet his face, which was inches from mine.

And then I did something completely stupid.

I couldn't help it as my lips brushed against his, we were so close.. he was so tempting. He didn't push away, like I hoped he wouldn't. But after a moment he took a step backwards.

His beautiful eyes were sad as he watched me walk away. I didn't turn the other way until I could barely makeout his face.

I dropped my head in my hands as soon as I entered my car breathing slowly. "Why why why why?" I muttered over and over to myself.

He had a fiance. Someone he was already involved with. What was I thinking? &Now that was the end of us.

I wiped away the wetness in my eye and reached into my pocket to get my keys. A tiny slip of paper fell out as well into the seat next to me.

I reached over and opened the note.

"Keep in touch, JC." It read, and listed his number. A broad grin crossed my face and I couldn't help but laugh as I drove away.

We weren't done just yet.


End file.
